I am very sad as I write this post. Well I guess I just feel defeated. As I sit here I think about how bad I want my son home. I know he is somewhere in this world. I just don't know where yet. We really had our hearts set on Korea, and still do really. The main thing though is that we are both overweight. We started our diets a few weeks ago and I have ruined it once again. I find it really upsetting that as bad as I want a son I STILL keep bringing my hand to my mouth with things that I just shouldn't be eating. This is terrible. It brings me to tears to think that I am letting myself destroy my dreams all for some stinkin food. I am so at a loss for what to do, I know that I just have to turn it all over to God. I want to be what God wants me to be, and to do what HE wants me to do. So tonight, I am laying it all down, over to God. HE is in control, and I have to let Him be.